been procrastinating in writing this post for freaking long cos i dunno how to start but yeah now i know alry. anw its in random order and if you tink its you then its you okay. i wont say who is who so happy guessing if you want. these are either the unspeakables i thought of/wanted to say or things that are weighing on my mind. lets c how much things i need to say hmm.
1. you will never know how shocked i was when i heard the wrds from you and that has kept me thinking for quite some time. its too much to think abt becos any way i look at it it doesnt seem to be the right thing? i rather not be that sensitive to everything.
2. your unusual behaviour is always a rude awakening. sudden emotional breakdowns are slowly getting off the routine now. i hope you will move on and do take care of your health cos you arent that young no more.
3. im happy that we are talking more often now cos i nv really talked to you all these while. maybe we got closer through idk what but heck im glad for everything. without all those times it wouldnt be possible for me to think abt tis.
4. okay youre so brave that even i admire you. so much that youre at number 4 lol. anw shocked by everything but still worth the applause. hope everything can still remain as it is. i tink everything will turn out just fine.
5. jc life suck ttm but im still stuck in it cos it sucks way too much that i cant get out. well perhaps i pray it will be a shortlived 2yr journey and not 3. ahhh fk but i just screwed promos. gimme the strength to believe.
6. as much as i know i cant live with the fact that its nt the same around here anymore, i have to accept it argh. im sorry for not showing the respect that i was supposed to as well as everything that i failed to cherish.
7. no i definitely do not agree with XXX's thinking cos basically i had a good thought over things. its more of the fact that i was last on the list, the one that dint look all that troubled, the many many reasons/excuses i came up with so much that i refused to respond to you and sat in a daze.
8. apparently even i myself think that im overreacting over every small little thing. i have to stop thinking and stop reminding myself of everything. but sad to say, im still not able to stop the train of thoughts that seemed to be parking in its station, my head.
9. it may have happened in a few seconds but i still rmb the times whre you turned your back on me. too much of a torture for me to bear, i need to noe what youre thinking pls dun keep me guessing. gosh sometimes i rly wish i wasnt that curious.
10. somehow if everything was what i thought it out to be then the situation would be too drastic to handle rite? i dint know how to make things rite and i guess i never will unless you tell me how. all i can do is hoping every wrong can make itself right.
11. too much of late night calls leave me having hangovers hmm i guess it always gets interesting towards the late hrs when i dont tink we mind letting our secrets out for that short while okay at least i dont. it all seems so weird but well i insist mine's worst.
12. i guess the only things that sets me thinking are all very much the same hur if you can decipher but i got another addition. my brain jus probes and questions abt things on its own without me telling it to. perhaps i tink im looking too much into it. is it only to me or the same to everyone?
13. i shall stop at my favourite 13. someone pls tell me what to do. JUST SO YOU KNOW, this feeling's taking control of me.. x.x go listen to: just so you know, close, cant have you. hmmmm now go figure haha. cant have you is the hot fav in my playlist haha.
and the list goes on...
im feeling much better lol. maybe i should have this random thing once in awhile like monthly. okay ive decided this shall be called 13 UNSPEAKABLES!
but trying to make it sound as though its neutral/anonymous simply kills brain cells. this is so frustrating i tink i will get some slp soon.
imissyoulove
