(edit)
i guess im jus too afraid.. cos i got too much to lose. the people who stood by me, the faith you had in me, what a disappointment im to them. its all so clear right nw to me at this point in time. well, caro made her point by saying whats done is done, and im sorry seriously for affecting you just nw. i tink i should get some slp nw that is if i can.
(/edit)
i wonder..
-if i will ever be the same old me.
-if everything will stay the same way as before.
-if i can manage to hold baq those tears agn.
-if my life will ever change after tmr.
-if i will be looked upon differently.
-if i can face a major setback bravely.
-if i can live with what eventually will happen.
-if things dint turn wrong towards the end.
-if i dint concentrate enuf or showed that desire.
-if my mind was too occuppied with irrelevant stuff.
-if i played too much throughout the year.
and the list continues.
with so many IFs, the regret sets in agn.
thinking of how tmr will be different from other days
too afraid to face what eventually turns into reality
its nt so much on how i feel but
how ppl around me perceive things
you noe how bad it affects everyone around you
but apparently there's no turning baq
is it you or me being afraid at this moment
ive nv been so scared all my life thinking of such shyt
cos all my life exams have been sucha breeze with last min mugging
scraping thru every single thing nw seemed like sucha uphill task.
i think i will have insomnia tonight trust me
ive never been so fearful of results before
and failing seems inevitable..
less than 14hrs to results and the clock keeps ticking.
imissyoulove
